MOVING

I'm going to London today! It's 05:32 am and I've been awake all night packing and being sad because of all the goodbyes I've made and the once that are not done yet.
Boy! I have so much clothes, even though I never find anything. At least more than 40 kg :P I'll be taking 2 suitcases out with me but still have to leave some clothes behind and my mom will end it too me but since I'm going to London then I need more space.. I know that I'll be taking some stuff from there to take to Norway and I'm flying alone from London and my English is not that good so I can say something when my suitcases would be waaaaaay more heavy then they are supposed to be.. I think I'll just put up my puppy eyes.
I'm so nervous and excited everything. And I think the water in my body will soon be finished after all the good bye crying!

Next time I blog will be in England or Norway. I'm not sure. But more than likely Norway

HADE!

It's all coming !

This weekend there was this "camp" thing at my church.. or no, it wasn't at my church it was somewhere out of town in a place called Hlíðardalskóli. 

It was a different camp then normal. It was interesting but I like the normal one a lot better. But the it was fun though. There was just something really bothering me all weekend and still is. That's the school in Norway that I've been so excited for since .. kinda long ago! 

I talked to my friend who was at this school a year ago or so and was asking her a lot of questions .. it helped and i was a bit more scared. All weekend I just felt like crying but I couldn't. I tried to go in to my room and jus let it out, didn't work so well.. I just wanted it to come it was like a heavy burden in my eye! 

And ohh.. There was this girl that came to the camp and she is in the school in Norway. 

My friend told her that I'll be going there and from that point we talked a lot. I decided to like just talk to her there since I'll be seeing her around every day. She told me a lot about the school and was just really kind. She also told me that she can help me with the language and stuff and I really felt better like having someone like her. Especially in the beginning when I'll probably get homesick. I like her. And when I think about it than it is not as scary going when you know there is someone there for you and of course it will be hard moving to another country and learning a new language, but yes. I'm really thankful for that girl.

Stupid girls!

Not cute enough?
People don't love me as much as others?
Not skinny enough?
Too big nose?
Too weird?
Freaky hair?


Girls can be so mean to each other. - Or everybody can be mean to each other..

When I was younger I saw that I was different. I was half black. There was a time that I wanted to change it. I didn't want to be half black when almost everybody else where white. Sometimes I felt like I was standing out. When I started school my hair was so frizzy. My mom had to go to work so early that she couldn't do my hair so my dad sometimes had to do it and yes he know how to but it was just harder with my hair. As soon as I went to school and got to play my hair was standing in the air. I hate seeing pictures of me like that. I hate my first school picture!
Then I always saw the other girls with something nice in their hair or just straight out. I couldn't have mine straight out.

Few years later some girls started bullying me. I wanted to change school so badly. They were so mean. And I didn't know why they were doing it. And when I changed schools then I  heard that they just want me out of the school.. so yes.. I don't really know why. Some of these girls are my brothers friends, I find it really weird especially when they come to my house.

Now I'm almost 16 and I have a lot a lot a lot of friends that I love. Of course we don't always agree with everything and we argue but we don't call each other bad names, well I don't and I don't think my friends do either. But some "friends" aren't really your friends. Sometimes they are your friend when you need something or yes. I don't like that.

Which reminds me.. my facebook is a mess.. I should probably "clean it" up :-)

Busy busy busy

I'm doing so much, I want to hang out with my friends before I go to Norway and I've been doing that and gone out of town. And working. I'm always so tired and out of energy! This is kinda my last week at work though, except I have to go again one day next week and then it's over. I've also been going around finding stuff for Norway. We have to buy some stuff and me and mom have been going around and trying to find what I want that I can afford.
I feel really weird leaving. Yesterday I cried when I was hugging my mother because she wont be with me in Norway and I can't hug her like I do always. It will be hard and leaving all these people here.
But this is so exciting, doing something totally different. It will be interesting.

I was about to blog about something that would not be fun but I decided not too. This little energy that I have right now.. i'm not going to waste it on something not fun.
But yea it's almost 2 am.. maybe I should just go to bed .. Now. Just going to finish what I'm doing and then take a good sleep and wake up late and try to go over my clothes and maybe back something tomorrow cos I better begin because I'll do it at the last minute if I don't begin now when I have a little time, since I'm not working tomorrow.

Penfriend

Yesterday I found out on facebook that one of my penfriends was about to come to Iceland. We hadn't been writing each other for a while so yes I had no idea that she was coming. We decided to meet up, see send me her number and I called her. It was really weird. Btw, she's from Norway. So today after work I went to the guesthouse where she's staying and we met up and took a walk down town. It was kinda embarrassing cos like we had never seen each other before and then like suddenly tadaaa !! there we were together talking English like we were tourists down town... well she was but no me. But I bet I was the one who look more like tourist ! haha

I really enjoyed seeing her and we are going to try to meet up again before she goes and do something other then walking and being shy to each other. Go to the movies or swimming or what ever.

And oohh.. she doesn't live that far away the school that I would be going to in Norway so wohooo ! I could meet up with her there and get to know her much better in person, not in emails. Now I'm so excited for everything.

What am I listening too?

This picture answers what I'm not listening to.
I just really can't say no to things and often I end up doing so bad things and regret them so much afterwards. Even though I know I will regret it I still sometimes do it. It's like I can't stop my self when I'm the only one who can!

Sometimes I wish I was just locked in somewhere, I wouldn't be in the way for people, wouldn't do anything that I will regret afterwards.. I could just be.. locked in.

I'm kinda looking forward going to Norway if I go, I just have too. I really want just to start a new life and this may sound really weird.. Go away from my friends.. I want to see if people will miss me at all. I know I will miss many people like crazy, and I even think so of these people don't really know I much I will and how much I love them! But well.. :-S

All these payments!

I'm only 15 and I have to pay so much! I'm not talking about paying to go to the movies or that stuff. I'm talking about paying to talk to my friends. Ok. this sounds really weird, but sometimes I have to. I can't really explain it. But it makes me cry - and loose a lot of money.
Okay I don't have to pay, but if I don't I can't sometimes do the thing I want to, and sometimes it is like serious and than I like have to pay.
I wish I could explain this, cos I'm that mad that I wan to let it out and cry and scream. It's too much. Plus it's my money, I'm the one who's working for it.
Just every time I say no to someone I feel bad afterwards ... and just sometimes end up doing what the person asked. And sometimes people use their puppy eyes face.. Sorry I just can't say no to that!

Some people just have to check their brain! and ohh.. !!

This picture is just perfect right now!

But, yes.. I think this is unfair and there is a quote that I read the other day that said : "When you think life is not fair, take a look at the cross."
So I'm going to and this with : Thank you Jesus!