Me and the nature or The nature and me

I loved my English class today. We were supposed to go outside and fine something in the nature that describe our self.

First I was all blank but than I got this brilliant idea to go down by the sea close to my school and take some water from the sea and put it in a bottle I had. Than I though, okay there are good things about me and bad. So I found a beautiful shell and a broken glass which was there and put it in the bottle with the sea. Now, I found this other thing, I think it's called shell in English too but it's kuðungur in Icelandic and it was a shell with sea-snail in it so I put it in there. But I didn't notice the snail until later when i came out of the shell. Then it was ... þari.. google translate says it's kelp in English.. and that's the stuff in the sea. So it was God's creation. And when I was walking back to the school I though.. ohhh.. I need to find a snail (there are many snail around my school) but where we were walking there were just dead snails, people had been walking in them...diisssguuusting! Well then we noticed one snail on the grass and I took him and put it on the bottle. And the point with the snail was that snails are slow.

 

Why do I think this describes myself?

1. Sea - The sea is everywhere, it can be loud. It can also be still and quiet. I am always everywhere, and I'm kinda loud (want to change that though) and sometimes I'm just still and quiet.

2. The shell - I think some shell look really beautiful. I just connected that with the good points of me

3. The broken bottle - Broken? done in the beach and that's dangers for the animals there. That's the bad points in my life.

4. The shell with sea-snail in / kuðungur - When I got back to the school one of my teachers said, look there was a snail in there and it came out. I can be really shy, but then I come out of the shell when I'm ready too.

5. The kelp / þari - It's God creation. I'm God's creation too !

6. Snail - Ohh maan I loved that! The snail is so slow... and so can my brain be!

So that's it. I loved doing this and it made me thing. 

BOYS! - P.S THE LONGEST BLOG EVER!

Booooys !! Laughing Out Loud ! So I went to this camp thing in Finland last year. And hahhaha.. before I keep on telling this story  I have to say this : I wanted to buy this T-shirt that "Looking for Mr. Perfect" was written on to be in at this camp with like 2000 and something people, but my mom didn't allow me.. (and I'm SO THANKFUL) so I bought Little Miss Chatterbox instead.. 'cause lol.. that's SO MUCH ME! But okay.. ok got to the camp and put up my tent and being really excited being at the camporee and was ofc going to walk around with my friends and look at some guys!! ( hahaha )
But really I didn't really have to. They all came to me! It was so creepy and so weird. All these black guys.. and they all looked the same so I did never know if I had met some of them when I so them again at the camp. It was really embarrassing! And they were so not happy with it.
And me who always would think that no one would like.. all these boys came.. and some of them were handsome.. but that's so not enough for me.
I'm gonna tell you about this one guy who was.. yea !

It started with me and my friend walking and chillin' and having fun, but these group of guys were kinda following us. They always looked at me and smiled. Then we went into the Kiosk and the went in there. One of the guy in the group came to me and  said hi and I said hi back. He asked me what's up and I answered and all of his questions.. then he said.. This is my friend.. and point at this guy who was sitting in this chair watching him talking to me. I said hi and waved him. Then we went out again and like while we were there we were always walking back and fourth and they decided to sit on this bench. When me and my friend were going to our camp (where the icelanders were) this guy said.. "Heeey!!" and I turned he said "Yea, you!" I just said yes. "can you come?" We walked towards them and then he said, "My friend wants to talk to you" and pointed at his friend and he stood up while he said it. He asked me if he could talk to me and I said sure then he told me to come with him. My friend and I start walking but then he said.. no no you wait to my friend.. (and me and my friend laughed shyly x''D) Okay so we took this walk for 4 min or something where the others who were waiting could see us. He started to ask me how old I was and if I would come to England if I would want to hang out with him. (This had never happened to me before!!) I told him that my aunt lives in England and my cousins. Then he kept asking me questions.. and than he said.. "What do you think of me?" and I was like.."what? what do you mean?" while being really nervous inside and that he said " well.. would you want to be in a relationship with  me?"  (Oh no.. what to say when I am so shy.. lol + silly question at this point.. I had no idea who this guy was!) Well my answer was : "well, I don't really know you, I met you 2 min ago. But we can get to know each other more." (dum-dum-dum-duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuum!) Ok. then we agreed to meet after that evening meeting thing. Maaann.. after been thinking this like from that time till this meeting thing I was freaking out.. I didn't really want to meet him. So I went with my friend and like try to between all the people so he couldn't find me.. but after a while.. I started to feel sorry for him! So I started to walk towards his camp (even though I didn't know where..there where like 900 and something people from england! and I didn't know his name yet!) Well me being brilliant with my friend we somehow found him. He walked to me and said "sorry I didn't go to the meeting because of something something something" (and that made me think.. "I don't want my bf to be like that".. that's so not right) My friend left so it was just two of us. We went for a walk.. we talked a lot and he asked me billion of questions. Then we sat down that this bench where these guys sat down earlier that day.

BREAK.. - This blogg is not close to be finished.. Good Job reading all you have read.. and if you have the patience to read more go on :D

Ok... It was kinda cold for me 'cause I was just wearing a T-shirt or something and he had a coat on. I was freezin' ! Well he talked and talked and talked.. He looked at my hair and asked me if it was my real or fake (many black girls have fake ... if u didn't know that ) and I told him that it was my own REAL hair. He asked if he could touch it.. ( I found that really weird and funny) but I said sure and then he like put his finger in my hair! and his hotness burned it all of.. that why I was bold last year!!  End of story :D Joke.... that didn't happen !!
He kept talking and he told me that he has had 3 no 4 or 5 girlfriends before.. ( he said it like that) and to or no 3 of them are here. (did I want to hear that? - I kinda laughed inside) then he was always saying.. but wow.. how come you have never had a boyfriend?!?!? blah blah blah.... and all I could do is make my silly girly shy laugh. Then he took all these tissues out if his pocket and threw them on the ground and it was like he was trying to hide it from me but I have super eyes I see everything.. and I found it disgusting .. He had probably been blowing his nose and just left it there.. I didn't like that. Well then this silence came.. I saw that he was looking at me. Then he said.. "These lips ..... they are so.. aa.. they are soo.. hmm.. what's the word for it.... umm.. KISSABLE.." (I though .. oh -no , not going to happen mr.) but I didn't really know what to say so I laughed and asked if we should talk a walk .. (after being shivering and he was always offering me his coat but I didn't want it) So we walked and talked and walked and talked. Then he was trying to ask me something but was like being shy about it.. so he was like.. "Can I ask you something" and I said yes and then he all went like "amm.. noo.. I can't.. it's so rude" I just told him to ask.. then he said " what's your mothers name?" me: "that was so not what you were going to ask" he said no.. than he asked me if I wanted to go for a swim and told him that I didn't like it that much (but what was I thinking.. ofc I liked it.. :S..) but then I hear this voice yelling my name..... it was my friend. She said in Icelandic though" We are frying (steikja) apples if you want" I laughed so hard ... first of all.. frying apples.. who does that. second.. you came and to tell me that x''D I said thanks for coming. This was the right time to come. I needed a break (in icelandic though) but then she went again. while she was running away this guys said.. Okay it wasn't what I wanted to ask you.. me "oh what was it then" then he said "can I hold your hands?"
Maaaan how I wanted to say now.. but I couldn't.. I said yes. (i know if i don't want to i should say!) so he took my hand and we hold hands like we were like together not like friends.. like couples. while we held hands he said " But hey.. if you are going to mess up with me my friends will come" .. Oh my gosh!! I was so scared.. you dont say that! are you stupid! that not nice.. I was so scared so so scared 'cause I knew that I didn't want to be with him. after a like minute or two I said that I thought I should go to my camp to my friends, he said ok and wanted to walk me there so he did.. still holding hands! Maan I was so scared if someone would see me holding hands with that guy! but nobody did! he hugged me bye and yes.
The rest of the story is awful. if u want to know it u can ask.

Ok. that wasn't really the funny part. Okay by the time I got home a got all these friends requests on facebook from all these boys! Oh my ... I didn't really remember like 3/4 of them !! They all remember me! and so many of them like me. Hahaha! I'm always finding out that more and more from camporee like me and are talking about me. and like before I started writing this loooooong blog there was a guy from Camporee (surprise surprise) who told me that this other guy is always talking about me and he likes me so much! and maaann hahahahha! I don't remember seeing him. I'm so sad! Hahaha. but what am I supposed to do when these guys are all like yes. This is .. yea.. ohh lol! they are just awesome these guys and I really love them all (in a funny way)

 Well, I'm only 15.. - 16 "soon" I have all my life left I'll find my dream prince just when I am supposed to :-) So no rush - just going to keep living and enjoy being single when I am. 'Cause one day, I'll be with the right guy with all of my kids.

Thank you for reading. and I Love You! <3

I love giving gifts !

Ohhh mann.. When I get older I'm going to have this store that I give stuff that I make! Every time I am making something in school and just at home or something I can never keep it for my self... I always end up giving it away.
I really love doing it. I think it really hard keeping it for my self. I just want to give it to people that I love and really care about.

And the thing is.. when you give a gift the other person isn't just happy, you are happy yourself after giving them!! But haha.. when I give gifts I get so shy.. I'm like.. should I.. naaaah.. yes.. oh.. I want to.. hmm.. aaa.. But I always end up giving it and I don't remember any gift that I have given that I regret giving so yes.


Wow i can do two things at a time!! Now I have forgotten what I was going to blog more about!


Well maybe i'll find out later what I was going to blog about.. until then.. take care :-)

Sick of being Sick

Maaaaan I hate to be sick!  I'm so out of energy.. and feel so dizzy and blaaah.. feel sick ;-) I had to go and see the doctor yesterday.. but yes.. if it keeps going like this I need to go to more check!
I can't even write more of this blog .. it's really hard to think! hahahah!

So this is going to be good for now even though it was supposed to be longer!

°° Message of God °°

I found this in youtube. I cried while listening and watching this. This is such a beautiful video and so true. I just have to remember that. <3 I wanna be like Jesus! <3

50 - 50

Sometimes I wish I could just be from one country.. (ofc. I am.. but you'll probably get what I mean..)
I really hate it when it's pushed in face that I can't speak english and my mom is from JA and I can't speak good enough Icelandic and I live there.
So yes. I'm so not perfect! I only talked Icelandic when I was little, just bit of english and I understood a lot of it though.
I don't think I watch that much TV to learn all the english and icelandic is just really hard language.. I mean.. sorry if I don't know the word, there was a reason why I asked. If I haven't heard it or used it why should I know what it means.
When I sit in my classroom I ALWAYS feel embarrassed because some of the other students not english a lot more better than I do... and it like I know that some are like.. "wow how can she not no this she's have JA". Sometimes I just want to cry. Sometimes people laugh when I don't know a word. Somtimes they teas me with it. Sometimes they put a weird face on and tell me just to go and look in the dictionary.

How am I supposed to feel about myself after that.. I really don't like it and I often think about how stupid I am for not knowing many words.
Sometimes I sit in the classroom and try to listen to the teacher and I am so afraid to ask what some words mean cos then I am so stupid.

I feel like crying now. I have to do this presentation about third world countries - Jamaica and of course everything on the internet is in english and I'm kinda angry at me teacher to let us do this and expect us to like know all these hard words and translate to Icelandic.

Or maybe it's just me .. :-/ Maybe everyone else no it.. it wouldn't surprise me :'/

I Love Girls-cousin-evening !!

So there was this evening last night were my cousins (girls only) came and like had fun... and yes.. IT WAS SOOO FUN!
First I thought that I was going to die cos I was so shy. They were all my cousins .. but I didn't really know most of then that well! and even those that I knew.. I was shy to them to so haha!

First there was just silence and I found it so awkward and didn't really know what to do. I'm so not that person who can like start talking and come up with some jokes or anything. (well.. lol.. I am.. but not around everybody!!)
We decided to play a ALIAS. It was really fun.. and like everyone had to talk so you couldn't really be shy. We laughed A LOT.

After that I went to "my cousins house" that they are renting while they are here in Iceland and I slept there. If you know me.. then I'm really used to doing something weird and hurting myself.. and guess what.. I DID!! I bumped my head on the wall above me.. and it hurt so much! I wanted to cry so badly but it was tooooo funny and my cousin found it really funny too!
We watched a movie and ofc I fell asleep as usual!
and now today I went with my cousins down town and we just looked around and talked and had fun :D

No specific title for this blog...

Maaaan !! The other night I dreamt that I had a baby boy!!  It was sooooo weird! But I liked the dream so much cos I can remember so much about it and how my baby boy looked! He had a lot of black hair on his head, he was really big and chubby. He was so cute and he was mine. Few seconds after I gave birth to him I asked if I can take him and I think it was my mom who gave him to me. Tears start coming on my cheeks and with a big smile and my baby boy. When I smiled at him he gave this BIG cute smile back and oww.. this was just a wonderful dream! I love it. I can't wait to have a baby in the future!

I was going to write a lot more.. but I'm sooo tired so I have to do it later.. 

I think I'll fall a sleep with a smile on my face

This day didn't start that well.. even though it was pretty cool having thunder and lighting here.. even though it's really scary. It reminds me so much of the other part of me.. (the Caribbean-part)

Well I didn't go to school. So I stayed at home, listening to music, singing, doing my nails and just doing relaxing stuff to try to think about something good.
There came a part when I had to go somewhere that i didn't want to go and I had to take the bus.. and the bus was so late so I missed the other bus and it was all yes.. I just felt like crying !! That time.. I hated the bus! But ofc I love it! it helps me go around when I don't have a car!

I've been talking to my cousin on Facebook and we are having this.. frænkukvöld !! :-D finally (girls-cousin-evening-meeting) and my family isn't that close here so we decided to have one to get to know each other better and have fun!
I also talked to my auntie and my cousin !! He is the cutest! and that kinda made my day! I wish I could be where they are! I want to see them!

Sooner or later it will happen.. just have to wait !!

GOOD NIGHT :D

He came to me! I sat up! He asked me how I felt! I said I don't know! He said that he DIDN'T hate me! I cried! He hugged me! I hugged him back!

I love my brother !! <3 and both of them! <3 <3 <3

Feel like crying ? - YEEES !!

Sometimes I wish I could just have my own apartment, just little apartment.. or like a bedroom where nobody is and have lot's of couches and blankets and ofc tissues !

Don't like feeling like a stone.. It's like there is this big stone in my chest and the stone is spreading other stones in all of the parts in my body. I would call few of these stones : worry-stone, pain-stone, cry-stone, silent-stone and lot's more!
These stones make me feel sick! But somewhere behind these stones is a little heart that beats. I know it's really powerful, but this stone is taking over this little heart.
From the heart there are coming thousands of veins and they are supposed to bring me blood. I want my blood to be in colors.. Green- strength, pink - kindness, red - loveliness, yellow - happieness and so on.

But it seems like my brain isn't connected as it's supposed to be with my heart, it's like my brain is just focusing on these awful stones that a ruining my life.

Sooo...

LORD GIVE ME MORE STRENGTH AND ALL THESE THINGS I NEED TO BE AS HAPPY AS I CAN BE, AND THINK ABOUT THE THINGS I AM SUPPOSED TO THINK OF AND NOT WAISTING MY TIME TAKING CARE OF SOMETHING THAT I CAN'T TAKE CARE OF. SHOW ME HOW I CAN BE MORE LIKE YOU WANT ME TO BE. SHOW ME HOW I CAN FIX THINGS THAT I AM SUPPOSED TO FIX. SHOW ME HOW TO BE MORE KINDER PERSON. SHOW ME HOW TO BE LIKE YOUR SON JESUS CHRIST!

AMEN!

STUPID ME

What was I thinking.. ofc my mom know best.. why can't I just listen! I'm so so so stupid ! I have to know that everything that I want isn't the best but it seems like that can't get in to my head. I'm so angry!

What happend...

Well.. me and my mom had planned to relax my hair today (straighten it.. with cream stuff) and we weren't sure if it would work.. but it worked after all this work and I was really happy. After my mom had dried my hair she said.. "wow, you have so much split ends" and I know I have but I have so much that if I'm gonna take them all I have to cut so much and I want that.. but my mom doesn't want to. Well I asked my mom if she could just cut like little bit of the ends ( like she did when I was younger) and she said yes.. but ofc I asked for more.. "could you take kinda much, it's okay if you will ruin it!" she wasn't sure about that.. Well she began and gave me all the hair that she had cut. I so that she decided to cut more than little bit like I asked her.. but.. ofc she isn't a hairdresser so she doesn't really know how to do it..
To end this really quick.. than my hair is short (not short short though.. but SHORTER) and not straight ! I knew it would happen.. but it was thrown too much in my face ( not on purpose though!!)

Welllll.. I have to learn to listen more ;-(

I'm soooooo lazy !

... that lazy that I can't be bothered to think.. even though I know I want to write something.

well.. I always take 20 min break when I write or something like that.. I just really don't have any energy toooo... !! Hope I will have tomorrow!

Kaitlyn Maher - 6yo - Compassion Music Video - You Were Meant to Be